everything is waves and stars

Everything starts where it ends.

2008-05-13T14:32:39Z

im convinced.
I'm done with school
I got a boyfriend.
all the things i was affraid of.
affraid of moving on.
but sometimes i realized you
have to let go and trust yourself
and what you and not want to do not your
head is telling you. More and more each day
Joe shows me he cares
Its so surreal. i can't believe it. my parents like him
my friends like him. and im pretty sure i do too.
i dont know why i hide from what im affraid of.
its really a bad habbit.

its just you that i see nothing but you i feel so free.

2008-05-05T06:28:07Z

Tonight was an amazing night.
the view was just amazing.
everything.
Everything happens for a reason
and yet its creepy at the same time.
but when it comes down to it all
i find myself smiling at the entire
i would'nt say situation but yeah,
it's like out of a movie.

your my angel your my only sunshine in my life.

2008-05-04T05:58:24Z

Life throws numerous obstacles your way.
what do you do?
live for each moment that gets thrown at you.
cause in the end no matter what
something good may come out of it.
i guess another ending is a beginging elsewhere
so i've learned.
it still hurts though... but when i bring it up
or think about it all i do is smile.
i mean im happy now theres no reason
not for me to be.
its just old memories make me think about
what a fucking idiot i was and that
if youre scared of something dont just run
away from it...cause in the end everything
you had could be gone in a split second.
i wish one thing though i could just talk
and spill everything and in return just
get listened too, but i guess thats asking
too much. Maybe in the future or in another
life everything could be redone and i won't
make the same mistake i had made.
on a happier note....
im excited for prom.
my date is awesome.
I've been reluctant for a while, but now
he has shown me so much and its nice
to know you have someone who really
cares about you and watches over you.
i realized it...
i havent had that in a while.
i just wish there wasn't that one negative.
but gotta live one day at a time right....

airrin_x @ 2008-04-23T05:58:00

2008-04-23T10:58:57Z

I'll make my stand
right here with my friends

partys over.

2008-04-18T17:07:00Z

4 day weekend.
yesterday was awesome.
partyy.
im so glad when people
get along.
sometimes when you
give people a chance
you get a surprise
something you thought
you never would expect
from a person, maybe
its because you judge
them too soon. And
when you really fnd out
then who they really
are it can be a good or
bad thing, and yest.
it was a good thing.
=]

Hey, amanda where'd you find these crazy boys this time.

2008-04-17T11:22:40Z

I think I'm too judgemental.
Yeah, I'm a big flirt too.
Maybe I should give people
a chance. hmmm.
yea.

airrin_x @ 2008-04-16T23:41:00

2008-04-17T04:42:04Z

Uh Oh.

feels like the raindrops on my skin...

2008-04-12T15:32:09Z

prom dress shopping today.
last night was interesting.
Im in a techno/trance mood latley.
the past few days have been
very interesting...
i dont know .
weird.

on top of the world.

2008-04-10T22:29:03Z

Cause you caught me off guard
Now I'm running and screaming

life has a funny way of doing things.
or maybe it's just my luck.
seems like in the end
someone or something comes through.
thank you god.
i hope things work out
cause its crazy how im feeling now.
nothing can really bring me down.
well it can.
but it feels like nothing can right now.

April 9 2008.

2008-04-10T04:07:08Z

How long will I be waiting,
To be with you again.

best night ever.
cannot wait for prom.
seriouslly.

4-8-08

2008-04-09T06:16:27Z

just got off the phone.
2 hr convo.
for once im actually
really happy.
im tired so i'll write
more tomorrow.
but it's funny how it
always ends.

April 7, 2008.

2008-04-08T02:53:07Z

Found the perfect prom dress.
now i need a date
I'm currently working on that.
saw an old friend today.
ran like a little girl.
grow some balls and
ask yourself why run?.
what are you afriad of?
it was kind of funny....
actually it was hilarious.

its amazing how things make
you stronger.

its funny how you look at a person
and you realize " wow"
after they treated you like crap
and an entire relationship was a joke.
and not to mention guess friendship
means nothing... kind of sucks to realize
that. but you find out who really loves you
when your in your weakest moments
who in the end is there for you?

but all in all, im quite happy.
actually im awesome.
last weekend was awesome.

new someone &&
I met john<3 my amazingly awesome
best friend for 4 years.
life is great. im perfectly content right now.

And I’m begging you, please oh Lord

2008-04-07T04:13:51Z

Won't you change me.

This week, weekend was very good.
alot happened.

There's only grace
There's only love
There's only mercy and believe me it's enough
Your sins are gone
Without a trace
And there's nothing left now
There's only grace......

i swear to you true, i do.

2008-04-04T22:32:43Z

Amazing how we all want this life a little more everyday.
It's crazy how we pick ourselves up just to let us down anyway.
The one thing that you're missing is loungin' on the log right next to you.
So pick up that precious something and relax for a delicate few.

for once in my life...

2008-04-03T04:02:45Z

Things are actually starting to come together... piece by piece.
I think through songs our emotions just let out in times when
we can't really say anything..heres my outlook right now better
say it before i become completly unable to again.

I think guys date ugly girls b.c they need to feel better about themselves.
or they just move on quickly cause there so dependent on someone
and maybe now they dont really know how to tell that person they really
don't like them now so they bare along with it...either way trust no one.

I'm sick of Senior year.. proms going to suck and im tired of dealing with
the same shit each and every day. I cannot way to go to college. I've decided
I am going to stay at Domincan and live on campus. It sucks that one day
in your life you make all these plans for one person and in the end its nothing
of what you wanted to do and that person doesn't even acknowlege that you
went through all that shit for them so you' re completly stuck doing something
you don't want too. my motto...(deal with it).

I've been watching scrubs latley and it has been helping me deal with alot of
stuff. Letting my mind think about what I am going to do when I grow up and
putting some comedic releif. I am on season 4 for scrubs so I got 2 more to
go.

Also, I have came to the conclusion to what is love?... Love is that person that
will be there at the end of the day for you no matter what. No matter if you had a
shitty day and they had one they still will be there for you no matter what and
that is what love is.. that one person you can rely on when you're in the most
desperate situations and in the times when you struggle. They truley do help
you. And love doesn't just have to be by a bf or gf I think love can be shown
through friendships just as much if not more. That little thing your friend does
just because or because they know you and their just being there for you.

Nicole Atkins <3

2008-04-02T23:08:46Z

I foresaw you like an old ghost story
From a family tree that was handed down to me

I've known you like a siren song that warns
I've been informed you could be the death of me

But patience bounds an eternal stone
You were meant to be mine
I draw a door with the cards of gods
in a great and faded time

I know we'll meet again
Maybe tonight
Just tell me where and when
I know it's never sure

its a beautiful lie.

2008-04-02T04:30:42Z

Lie awake in bed at night
And think about your life
Do you want to be different?
Try to let go of the truth
The battles of your youth
’Cause this is just a game

It's a beautiful lie
It's a perfect denial
Such a beautiful lie to believe in
So beautiful, beautiful it makes me

It's time to forget about the past
To wash away what happened last
Hide behind an empty face
Don't ask too much, just say
'Cause this is just a game

im better off with this..

2008-04-01T11:43:34Z

Isn't it tragic?
Isn't it something?
I'm starting to regret the way I used to be now
I'm finding that I'll take
Every risk that just might come my way
But don't, don't you dare try to
Try to make sense out of me

John comes Sat
and im freakin pumped.
Im going to take the l
and then were going
to take it back and im goin
to show him a good time.
its been like 4 freakin years.
hellz yeah.

Vindicated...

2008-03-30T05:11:06Z

I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
swear I knew it all along
and I am flawed
but I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now
the things you swore you saw yourself

my hope
dangles on a string
like slow-spinning redemption

all we thought we could.

2008-03-29T13:56:12Z

Aren't we so good at holding on to the past? If we weren't speeding, I'm sure we wouldn't have crashed. Under the influence of our shallow lust; I know

we should be careful but that won't happen to us... Love is a second, third, fourth and fifth shot. God knows I need it; God knows you haven't forgot...

Oh and you are too much like a drug to me. No longer what I want, just what I think I need. Why would I leave when I could waste away with you?
Less
concerned with what I'll find than what I could lose... It's easier to look down than to look you straight in the eye. I'll only say this once because I

know it's going to make you cry. There is a reason I feel lost when I'm not with you. It's not because of love; it's just that you are what I've gotten

used to... Nothing left; but you say "Can't you give us one more try? We're in a knot that I can't let you untie": If we don't leave now, we never will.

Turn your back one last time on me

please forgive me if i act a little strange.

2008-03-28T00:40:28Z

I want to sit beside you
And talk about anything
I wanna be with you
Everyday with you
But that
That wont happen
That probably wont happen
No way

But then i recall last nights drama
I got frustrated
Than i went back to sleep
My dreams were of you
And your pretty face
When i got up
I wanted to get out of bed
And go to your place

Hold on, there's a hole in my heart.

2008-03-27T04:40:44Z

You swore "together forever"
Now you're telling me lies
Tell me your words have got
no concept of time
Tick tock, you're not a clock
You're a time bomb baby
Oh no, was it worth it?
Was it worth what you did to big business?
Was it worth what your friends
put up their noses?

Am i a bad actor or just in a bad scene?.

sick sick my heart, i wanna die so i can stop this crying...

2008-03-26T05:39:03Z

I've been so in love
i stutter as my life unfolds
don't ask, you won't be told
you broke the promise
i'm lying on the floor tonite
to dream of all those empty memories of singing on that carousel we'd ride together.

don't let me become a photograph that you look at once every year or so
and i guess what im trying to say is, i have hope for you,
that will keep your love for the world even though
it beats you down everyday
i've decided that the only people who can hurt you
are the ones you love; because if it wasnt love
you wouldnt care then.
like everybody; but trust no one.

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

didn't care that you left and abandoned me, what hurts more is I would still die for you.

2008-03-25T05:17:49Z

I looked out the car window today
and i'm realizing that i miss you,
it's funny how out of nowhere you came to mind,
the truth is, i wish you were still here.

I'm always wondering why the right words never came out...

I mean everything in the end comes down to timing,
one second, one minute, one hour, could make all the difference.
So much hanging on just these three things,
tiny increments that together would build a life.

I really missed you tonight.
I miss talking to you.
Knowing that you get me.
And every time I talk to someone else,
it just reminds me of how much they don't.

im such a sucker, everytime the phone rings/i get a text
i am hoping its you...

last note: dont wish for things that wont happen.

the new lydia cd is amazing..

2008-03-24T04:57:15Z

And I can not stand this.
Because you like it more than ever.
It was just a god damn mistake.
Stay at home,
Because you're way to good at faking.
Love is too much,
I'll be just fine here.

I am forever changed by who
you are, and what you meant to me.
I've been going through a hell of a time
making sense of everything you left behind.